Short jokes
Anal.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Apaches.
Apaches who?
Apaches on your eye.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Por que.
Por que who?
"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Esteban.
Esteban who?
If you do not open the door, Esteban you!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abajo.
Abajo who?
I have abajo of water with me.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
OMG, I had a really good hand joke, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.