Short jokes
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
What was Jim Jones' favorite drink?
Killer Kool-Aid.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Licka-lotta-puss.
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ligma. Ligma who? LIGMA BALLS!
Kyle's penis is small.
You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.
Aj died in a bar.
The end.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?
Really?
Well, the one I fucked did.
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
...
What's the joke?
I said it already!
Stroke victims are my heroes.
My favorite is Louis C.K.
What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
Three Jewish people walk into a bar.
Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?
A: What.
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.