Short jokes
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
Did you know when scientists discovered atoms could split, it blew them all away?
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?
Kinder
What do you call a guy named Ben?
Answer: Ben
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?
GAY
What do you call Holly and Elenji?
A couple.
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman... no other reasons besides that.
Wanna hear a clean one?
Old man takes a bath with bubbles.
Wanna hear a dirty one?
Bubbles is the 14 year old next door.
Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?
Nothing.