Short jokes
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
Who do Chinese people name their kids?
Throw the forks and knives down the stairs.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
Robin: "The car's not working."
Batman: "Did you check the battery?"
Robin: "What's a tery?"
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
My penis is too big for my dad to suck it, so my mum sucks it instead.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.
My dick actually destroyed the Death Star.
I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
Titanic was sinking.
Passenger: "How far are we from land?"
Captain: "Two miles."
Passenger: "Which direction?"
Captain: "Down."
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!
Dad: You are one.
Chimmy: (smoking because of fireplace)
Chimmy2: You're too young to smoke.
Murder: Wanna play a game?
Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)
Someone asked me where to find de wae?
I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.