Short jokes
Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."
Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
Why didn’t the girl like stairs?
They were always up to something.
What goes up and down but stays in the same place?
Stairs.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
Duck my sick.
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
What is round and squishy? A dead baby's head.
What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?
A: A virgin.
What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?
"Cheetah, cheetah!"
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.
priyanka
What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?
Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.
Pedophiles are really stupid and need to leave this earth.
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.