Short jokes
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
Puzzle
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
Gvido gubis.
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
What do you call someone with a small dick... whoever is reading this 😉
When people mean "phat feast," they don't mean fat.
When yo mumma says "phat," she means FAT but thinks she's cool!
I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
Who do Chinese people name their kids?
Throw the forks and knives down the stairs.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
Robin: "The car's not working."
Batman: "Did you check the battery?"
Robin: "What's a tery?"
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
My penis is too big for my dad to suck it, so my mum sucks it instead.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!