Short jokes
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"
I'm dying to live forever!
Don't bother; just try to live in England.
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
I got hit by a bus.
But the bus was my ex.
Yo' mama is so stanky, her Sure deodorant got confused and her Secret deodorant told on her.
Why couldn't Sally open the fridge?
Because she had no arms.
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
Me: Hey Jim!
Jim: I'm now a cannibal.
Me: WAIT, JIM! N-
God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.
What's good about 9/11? It helped solve the world's overpopulation issue.
I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
You walk into your grandma's room and you see her naked and she says "Come here grandson." What would you do?
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cakatoo."
"Cakatoo who?"
"So, you're a Rooster now?"
My existence.