What did the chicken say to the turkey?
Nothing, he chickened out!
Butthole.
Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."
Why do toy bears have small eyes? Because they were made in China.
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.