Short jokes
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
Despacito.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
Me: I kiss my mom on the lips.
Friend: Uh, I guess that's somewhat nor-
Me: Lower lips.
Friend: I gotta go.
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
What's harder than taking a shit?
Trying to take a shit while constipated!
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
My cock, lmao.
I was baking a cake when I saw some egg shell in the mix. I said, "You've got to be yolking me!"
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
What are the kids addicted to these days? Juulius Caesar (Juuls).
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"