Short jokes
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
Seriously, who wants dicks?
I LOVE BIG HAIRY DICKS!
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
My friend tried to sleep on napkins.
I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.
Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
Person A: Where do you come from?
Person B: Liberia.
Person A: *speaks softer* Oh sorry, do you come from?
My sister's boyfriend is mad at me because I fucked his girl.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.
By the way, have you seen my sister?
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.
I’m here to collect my bounty, what’s your bounty? Your pants.
Mom: Hey, there's IHOP.
Kid: You hop to.
I fucked your girl.
Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?
A: No, what happened?
Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!
What do you call cringe?
You.