Short jokes
What did Pepper say to Spray?
"Hey Spray, I'm Pepper, and I think we should fight crime!"
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at 3 hoes.
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
Saying balls go into pussy.
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
Why did the chicken cross the road? To help Stephen Hawking cross!
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
What did the dad say to the kid?
"U got to be kidding me."
Who deleted my stuff??? Woooow, you racist just because I'm Hispanic?
What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
What did the meditating egg say?
A) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmlet!
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.
Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!
Your forehead's so big, it makes Kanye's ego small.