Short jokes
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
What is 6.9?
A beautiful thing ruined by a period.
Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!
If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:
"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...
YOU WERE BORN!"
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
What do you call a fantastic goat?
Goatastic! So funny please like.
Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Women, go chop some lumber!
White people, get back into the cotton fields!
Why did the sea cry?
Because it felt salty and blue.
If Uranus is so gross, why do they take HD photos of it?
Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁
I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.
Then it hit me.
Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fallout.
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
Why did the cow go to space?
To get ice cream!
My girlfriend broke up with me today, but it’s ok.
She said we can still be cousins.
Goes to school with blue suppressed pistol. #1 Victory Royale!
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.