Short jokes
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
Why is Hitler better than Biden?
Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?
What do you call a well endowed gay male who is also in a wheelchair?
Meals on wheels.
There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
Yeah, Asians have squinty eyes, but that's because they have had the displeasure of seeing so many ugly obese Americans in one place.
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.