Short jokes
Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!
Your move, Ron DeSantis.
Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
Better Friday the 13th than Monday the 13th.
"A friend with weed is a friend indeed."
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.