Short jokes
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
What did kings say when they were made king?
Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!
Why did the person go to jail?
He committed a crime.
Bully: You are a piece of shit.
Person: No, I'm not a piece, and I'm not brown... so no, honey.
What did Thanos say when he snapped his finger? Another one bites the dust.
What is Osama bin Laden's favorite football team?
The New York Jets.
Q: What did the sign say on the whore house?
A: Beat it, we're closed.
A seal walks into a club.
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
Read this:
Crack
What did you think of? A window crack or the drug?
My new girlfriend is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?
Ten-putt!
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I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
What do bitches say?
"FUCK ALL YA NASTY BITCHES!"