Short jokes
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
Your mama is so stupid that when she heard drinks were on the house, she grabbed a ladder.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.
What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death?
No funeral costs.
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.
Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me when he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
Top ten dog breeds:
10. Dogs
9. Are
8. Beautiful
7. Animals
6. And
5. Judgement
3. Is
2. Cruel
1. Dachshund
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?
A penis always goes in the hole.
Was ist der Lieblingssport eines Deutschen?
gamer
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it!
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?
Palpatine: Screw it.