Short jokes
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
What goes with chips?
Not your cheese.
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.
I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him, I feel disappointment.
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
Christianity.
"Bippity Boppity Boo, Donald Trump is gonna deport you!"
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
Don't trust stairs... They are always up to something.
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
If Dusty's dad from Home Alone 2 was in NASA, how come he is not famous?
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- The doorbell repairer.
I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.