Short jokes

Short jokes

Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?

I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.

My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.

The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.

If I make a summer camp for kids with concentration problems, will it be a "Concentration Camp"?

The whole solar system is one big family, right? But everyone circles the sun.

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  • What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?

    “Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”

    When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.

    Have you eaten at the restaurant on the Moon? It's got good food, but no atmosphere.

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Crippling depression.

    Crippling depression who--?

    Me.

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  • How old are you...? I don’t give a shit, stfu and get in ma van.

    “NO NO NO”

    I’ll give you some candy.

    “Oh ok🤩”

    Is crummy bears alright??

    What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?

    ONESY.

    “Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.

    People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.

    Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.

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  • I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.

    It was a breathtaking experience.