Short jokes
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
Your bus is so short... the wheels touch.
Landing on its feet won't help a cat in China...
I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.
You want some dead batteries? They're free of charge.
I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
A skeleton had a job interview, but he looked messy.
I had to fix his collarbone.
"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.
Ya gotta hand it to short people...
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.
It’s a job I can see myself doing.
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"