Short jokes
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
Me: I kiss my mom on the lips.
Friend: Uh, I guess that's somewhat nor-
Me: Lower lips.
Friend: I gotta go.
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
What's harder than taking a shit?
Trying to take a shit while constipated!
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
My cock, lmao.
I was baking a cake when I saw some egg shell in the mix. I said, "You've got to be yolking me!"
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
What are the kids addicted to these days? Juulius Caesar (Juuls).
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.