Short jokes
How old is a blue plane?
Blue.
What do you call a male ladybug?
Trans.
If nine is a number, then why on Earth is not "ja" a number?
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.
It was because he didn't speak French.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back till I realized it is a family business.
Don't you hate it when you sit on your balls? It's a real nutcracker!
What did the duck say to the pond?
"Fuck Trump."
My wife went to make a cake. The recipe said, "Separate two eggs," so she put one egg in the living room.
Poopy, farty, pee.
Who likes penis?
My cousin!
During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"
Why am I so sad?
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
A man with a drum.
"Well, tell him to beat it!"
Why did half of the world go to hell?
Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
(You've been warned!)
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.
If museums are full of dead things...
Then why aren't there any memes inside them?