Short jokes
What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.
Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.
My girlfriend's last words:
"I can’t wait to become a mom!"
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!
Why did the turkey suck my bacon? Because it wanted cum in its mouth.
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
Don't scare me! I poop easily!
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
Do you wanna hear a Gay Joke...
Butt fuck it.
I was always poked and told at weddings your next...
So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
Saturn was so loved, someone put a ring on him.
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.