Short jokes

Blueface baby!

When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.

what do you call a lazy gay?

someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.

You are a joke.

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He ran out of battery life.

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?

He won't separate the whites from the colors...

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.

A baby seal walked into a club.

What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?

Chocolate arm.

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around.

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."

"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.