Short jokes
At my sample place, I handed my wife a fork and I lost my job.
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
Why is Goofy named Goofy? Because he is goofy!
One time I ate a chair.
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.
You: What you doing?
I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!
"I see, I see." "Oh, do you see?" "I see 1st place looking at me." "Hi, don’t be shy, just say hi." She was shy, she didn’t say hi. Softball cheers.
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Q: What do you do if you bump into a koala?
A: You koalagize to it.
Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"
Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the other contraction they know.
What do you call a 18+ animal jam?
Play Wild!
Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer?
A: Flanders Red Ale.
Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.
What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?
"Oasis!" (Oh, hey sis!)
A ginger.