Short jokes
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?
A: Because it was on crack.
My dog got stuck in my ass, help!
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Wat?
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
Why did the first fence hate the other fence?
The second fence used some of-fensive language.
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.
What do you call three people in a dark room? A porno.
If you spell "swim" backwards you get "miws."
Where is my dad?
Why is he called Ben 10? Because he is ten in long.
"Bippity Boppity Boop! Bill Cosby's coming for you!"
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.