Short jokes
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.
My dignity to live.
People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.
A gay couple actually goes to heaven. Turns out Jesus was a hypocrite.
You're the sriracha to my hoisin sauce.
And together, we are pho-ever.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!!!!!!! Hahahaha. Banta everyone on this site has 0 life and should leave.
What did Pepper say to Spray?
"Hey Spray, I'm Pepper, and I think we should fight crime!"
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at 3 hoes.
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
Saying balls go into pussy.
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
Why did the chicken cross the road? To help Stephen Hawking cross!