Short jokes

I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.

I remember my uncle's last words:

"I don't think we're going shooting today."

"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."

Connor: Hi Mom.

Mom:

Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!

Mom, can I please go out and play?

... no answer.

Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"

Guy: That's probably because you're single.

Why can't orphans go on school field trips?

Parent Signature: _______

So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.

What do you call frozen web?

A web-cicle.

Ass.

What do you call a passport for Mandalorians?

A Pre Visa!

What do you call a bar run by Gungans?

Jar Jar Drinks.

What do you call a flying octopus?

An octocopter! 🚁

Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?

It was having a mid-life crisis.

You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.

I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."

Why did the ox get kicked out of the herd?

Because it wasn't being an ox, it was being a butt-ox...!

There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"

The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."

Who did Stephen Hawking love more than anyone else?

His wife, "Eye," who was also bad at running.

I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"

I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"

I got 39,300,000 matches.