My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
Short Jokes
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me.
I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.
I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
"Dumbest7" is my Xbox account. Hit me up.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
Why didn't Sally get home from work?
She got hit by a bus.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Eggs don’t cum.
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
Your AMAMA.
Say:
"Eye"
Spell:
"Map"
Say:
"Ness"
Now say it fast!
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
