Short jokes
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.
It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.
What was Beethoven's favorite insect?
The bee! :0
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?
The dollar store.
What does Drake call his rake?
Da-Rake.
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
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How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Gary. Gary who? Gary a torch.
Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!
Your momma's so fat, a whale said, "Hello, Mom!"
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"
It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"
How does an apple fall from a tree?
I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!