Short jokes
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
Why was the chicken black and the other were white? Adoption!
Roses are red.
My soul is black.
I am never getting my dad back.
What's Stephen Hawking called on fire?
Hot Wheels :)
Cousins make dozens.
Closer kin, deeper in!
Hey John, how are you going?
Helium, yeah good, what about you?
(Hey Liam)
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
The king took a shit on the craps table at the casino.
The Ace of Spades was Hippy Flipping.
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool?
An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.
What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"
A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.
In Soviet Russia,
You love Chinese and hate Chinese.
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.