Short jokes
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
What country did Indians invent?
Curry-a.
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
omae wa mou shindeiru.
Nani?
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
What problems might a blind child run into?
A wall.
Types "I'm not a robot" on computer.
Son, we are geniuses!
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
Arms.
"Actions speak louder than words."
This doesn't apply to Stephen Hawking, however...
Imagine calling a dragon "fucking dewi."
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.