Short jokes
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"
Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
A bass drum is the boss.
What animal lies? A lion.
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
Why was Sally sad?
Because she couldn't play pattycake. Sally doesn't have arms.
My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
Why am I gay?
Because I like mushrooms.
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
Why was the chicken black and the other were white? Adoption!
Roses are red.
My soul is black.
I am never getting my dad back.
What's Stephen Hawking called on fire?
Hot Wheels :)
Cousins make dozens.
Closer kin, deeper in!