Short jokes
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7 8 9, right?
No. It's because 7 was a repeated 6 offender.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
What's an egg's favorite phrase?
An eggspression.
I am a reverse rapper because I put bars in my mouth.
Child: I am hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!
Child: *groans* *walks away*
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
Stephen Hawking couldn't drink anything.
He'd break if he did.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Do you like all the jokes I’ve been “cracking?”
Meow meow meow meow :p
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!