Short jokes
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"
What do you do when you made a misteak?
You do some yoga 🧘♀️ and say, "Namaaa steak."
What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?
Matt.
Hi, I am Bill.
You wanna know what's a concept? An orphan being homeschooled.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
Did you know all Canadians have the same blood type?
They all have blood "eh."
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
He lost Wifi connection...
Watch Key/Peele "Detective."
Your mom is so stupid, she thought eating ass was cannibalism.
Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽♂️
Believe in unicorns, and they'll believe in you!