Short jokes
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
Wife: Honey, I love you.
Husband: I love you all.
Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!
SPOILER ALERT...
I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!
What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?
I told a joke to an orphan, turns out he wasn't an orphan...
What do you call a guy with a sandwich?
A guy with a sandwich.
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"
Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
A bass drum is the boss.
What animal lies? A lion.
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
Why was Sally sad?
Because she couldn't play pattycake. Sally doesn't have arms.
My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
Why am I gay?
Because I like mushrooms.
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.