Short jokes
A burrito walked off a building.
Why does my mum eat carrots?
Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.
Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!
A paraplegic walks into a bar...
It's funny because he can't walk.
When the Mexican wanted to go shopping,
he went to Ja-mall.
Capitalism.
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
Six shila.
So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
Two towers.
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
At my sample place, I handed my wife a fork and I lost my job.
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
Why is Goofy named Goofy? Because he is goofy!
One time I ate a chair.