Short jokes
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
My question is, how do fat people fit in tuxedos? Honestly, don’t wear those. Wear your regular clothes. Your belly is just gonna pop out!
Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!
My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."
Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.
Me: I can only see fat.
Knock knock. Hwoo's there? Far from home. Hwoo's far from home? Spider-Man.
Your butt is so fat, I can remove 90% of beauty with a tissue.
I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.
U geiy haha lol.
What does a homeless man call his mother?
Useless.
What do you call a train that carries glue?
A glue-glue train!
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
Looks like he got stuck in a sticky situation.
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?
2nd person: What?
1st person: A pianist.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
My family is like Donkey Kong: a real pain in the ass.
Pope Francis: "What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross?"
"My penis."
Site nearly as dead as my trim.