Short jokes
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
It's hard to predict the future,
especially before it happens.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
Say this out loud: "Gabe Itch."
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
What did the sun say to the Earth?
"Am I hot?"
Person: Where do I commit suicide?
Dog: Roof.
Person: Good idea.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?
Nothing, it was feeling blue.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
CHABI CHABI CHAB CHAAAAB!
Octopussy.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.
Why? Why would you do that?
I wonder if the Titanic still sells fish?
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
Girls with the name Beoni are white.