Short jokes
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
Incest.
When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
You know this joke really cracks up my bones!
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
What did Love name his daughter?
Sweetheart. ♥
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.