Short jokes
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
You know this joke really cracks up my bones!
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
What did Love name his daughter?
Sweetheart. ♥
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
You know sex is better than logic, but I could've proved it...
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
What do you call the worst joke teller of all time?
Ben or Chris?
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."