Short jokes
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
What's worse than 5 babies in a dumpster?
5 dumpsters in a baby.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.
I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.
gdqvgj
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
Tell all the skeleton jokes you want, but I've got thick skin.
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!