Short jokes
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
What's both red, white and sometimes purple?
My arms...
At every funeral, it's a try-not-to-say-"big mood"-challenge for me.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
If Italy attacked France from the rear, would Greece help?
Ya, I have a Hydro Flask.
H: My Y: Grandpa D: Sticks R: His O: Cock F: Up L: My A: Ass S: K:
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?
A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.
Why did the scientist want to take off his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win the no-bell prize.
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.
What step did the DNA not take in his math equation?
He forgot to adenine!
Africa.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?
BK doesn’t sell real meat.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.