Short jokes
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.
How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.
Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...
My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
At night, before I got in bed with my girl, I had 206 bones, but I developed a 207th bone.
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
Why did the orange stop?
Because it ran out of juice. Hahhaha.
My name is Mike Oxmaul, and my friend's name is Hugh Janus!
"Fucking cracker and you smell like fish!"
What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodge balls.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
Homie: Let's meet.
Skrr: It's 🔥🌭
Meaning: It's hot [🔥] dawg [🌭]!