Short jokes
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
What do you call a mug? A mug dummy.
I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.
Your clown is so stupid it took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
The winds of Uranus go on and off, so you could say the wind is broken.
Are you fin-ished with your work?
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.
Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!
What did the author say when he got a correct answer? "I got it right!"
Your mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl!
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
If you're Canadian in the kitchen, then what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
Tell me a joke.
OK, your face.
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.