Short jokes
I'm going to piss on the floor.
Read if gay.
Aha!
haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.
Read this and you're gay.
Depression has been entered into your body.
what do you call a shadow stalker REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I'm a fat cow.
Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.
Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,
And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
"Mitchnite burger."
I comforted my friend about his wife's death, until I found out who did it.
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
Q: Get up for a chair joke!
A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
Most embarrassing moment during sex, GO!
James Arnold: My grandma walked in while I was knife raping my wife.
What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?
The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"
The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"
"Yellow and far apart."