Short jokes
Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
So you could read her lips.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pail of water.
Jack came down, and then Jill came tumbling after, so they had a baby...
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)
So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.
One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"
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I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
If you don't stop with the puns, soon it won't be so fun.
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
Why did Pikachu chase Ash?
Because he wanted to Ketchum.
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.