Short jokes
What did the sea do when it saw the beach?
It waved!
Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
Octopus.
I would post a joke, but maybe it's too deadpan.
How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
Last words of the captain of the Titanic... "Where's all this water come from?"
What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?
Eight-nothing.
What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.
What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?
A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?
The maternity ward.
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.
What operating system do Indian scammers use?
"Window licker XP."
Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfi.