Short jokes
What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅
If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.
What was Pepe's best friend? Ballsack.
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
One man's pet is another man's dinner.
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?
Puberty waits for the blow up.
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
Watching porn.
Watching porn blow my dick like a basset horn.
What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
What is the fastest cake in the world?
Scone.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
So my sis thinks she's so smart. She said, "You can finish this move ten minutes later. Go to sleep."
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.
Q: What is the hardest part of a cabbage?
A: Wheelchair.
Bib C, IIf.