Short jokes
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?
An orange tree! :>
If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.
Elephants never forget.
My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
Medusa makes men hard.
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!
GF: Laying down.
BF: GROANING
GF: Are you good at aiming and shooting?
BF: Yeah, why?
GF: Shoot that did in there.
BF: Mmmhuugh
Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?
Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?
Because they have cancer.
I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.
Ever heard of the show "Naked and Afraid"? That's what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
Poop poop poop poop poop poop pp ppppppppppppoppppppppppooooooooooooooooooooppppppppppoooooopppp children pooooooooooooooooop in diapers.
What’s a cannibal's favorite takeaway shop?
The orphanage.
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
Why did the person take crayons to the bedroom?
To draw the curtains.
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???