Short jokes
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
I told my wife she was lousy in bed.
She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"
Chi
Friend, your mum's fat.
Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?
Your nan's a GILF!
Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.
What did the sea do when it saw the beach?
It waved!
Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
Octopus.
I would post a joke, but maybe it's too deadpan.
How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
Last words of the captain of the Titanic... "Where's all this water come from?"
What was the score of the basketball game in Africa?
Eight-nothing.
What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.