Short jokes
Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."
What is a gay man's favorite hobby?
Cockfighting.
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
To be the perfect German, you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbels, and as blonde as Hitler.
What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day?
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
What do you call Flapple asleep? A Napple.
Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
Where did Michael Jackson go to college?
Bring 'em young.
Test.
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!