Monkey monkey monkey monkey.
Short Jokes
Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.
Sorry for posting this!
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
"Ur Mater."
When the washer started running, why did you join me?
Because I had to catch it.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
I'm a Model. My doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram.
(Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts
Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"
Me and kid: hug.
Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.
We had sex afterwards even though she lost.
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
what's the difference between hitler and you?
one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.
I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.
God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.
What’s ten feet long and bald?
The conga line in the cancer ward.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.
Did you know the letter "F" in orphan stands for family?
