Short jokes
Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!
Who is the coolest vegetable?
Rad-ish, of course!
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said, “NICE CUT G!”
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
Depression hits harder than my dad.
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.
Also me: Are you okay?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?
Me: Because you have no family.
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
What is big and stupid?
The Titanic.
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
You're so poor you wash paper plates.