Short jokes

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my sister?

There is no difference.

What is red and very rare?

A child in a blender.

My girlfriend is like treasure to me.

You need a shovel to find her.

99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.

What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?

A-Mean-O-Acid.

What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.

I'm Priya.

Why did the koala cross the road?

To get to the big tree.

What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?

Everyone gets a turn ;)

I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.

Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.

One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"

The other said, "Do you have that many?"

What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.

What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.

Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?

Why did the clock eat so fast?

He wanted to go in for SECONDS! Super bad, huh?

"Pogchamp ETHAN!"

Biden 2020.

Hey guys, I use toilet paper.

Hey guys, it's an alien!

Hey guys, it's cake time!