Short jokes
If I stepped on a Twix, would you get mad?
Why didn't Neptune marry Saturn?
Because he knew he wasn't hot!
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
Me: What do you call 4 depressed kids?
My friend: What?
Me: The Suicide Squad.
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
What's the difference between a magician and a chorus line?
The magician has a cunning array of stunts!
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
It's snot fair!
Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.
Why did two fours skip lunch? They already ate.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
What did the pen say to the pencil? You have a point.
Why was the math book so sad? Because it was filled with problems.
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!