Short jokes
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.
Also me: Are you okay?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?
Me: Because you have no family.
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
What is big and stupid?
The Titanic.
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
You're so poor you wash paper plates.
Why did Mom cross the road?
To kill you!
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"
The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"
Yo mama so skinny, she choked on a SINGLE STRAND OF SPAGHETTI!
What do you get when a dinosaur farts?
A blast from the past!
Why was the sea sad? Because it was blue.
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
A... B... Sea?