Short jokes

All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.

I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...

After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"

I wanted to play as Kobe in my console, but the game crashed.

Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"

It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.

What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.

Where do ducks poop out of?

From their buttquack.

You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.

The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.

How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.

Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*

9/11:

How do you make an apple turnover?

You push it down a hill.

What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.

-->[] go through the door if you can.

Hey guess what...

What...

My penis is big.

What's stiff and 6 inches long?

SIDS.

What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?

The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Ken.

Ken who?

Can you walk the dog for me?

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"

Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.