Short jokes
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.
You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.
You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.
You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.
You're so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.
You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.
You’re so short, I bet you don’t have to bend to tie your shoelaces.
You're so short that you build a tiny house for yourself.
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!
You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.
You're so fat that you're as big as UY Scuti!
Dwarf: pulls down the flap for the mirror.
Also dwarf: can’t see.
Why couldn't the twins never do anything right?
Because they were triplets!
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!