Short jokes
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite movie?
Black and white.
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
Incest. A game the whole family can play.
When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
What famous book writer for kids loved insects?
Beatrix Potter.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.
What’s your favorite food? Chode in the hole?
My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.
You are short.
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails.
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
Priest
Why do I call my priest daddy?
Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.
How did Helen Keller get punished?
Her parents gave her a bomb and told her to eat it.