Short jokes
People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.
Yes (DYM 66).
Your mama is so fat, One Punch Man had to punch twice.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: Impatient feminist.
Friend: Impati--
Me: Why don't we have equal pay YETTTTTTT?
Me: Mrs., can I read my book?
Teacher: Sure.
Me: *watching my Chromebook*
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
My gamer tag is TheBigAut.
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f
* * *
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
Yo mama so fat, she plays tennis with Pluto.
"Gwen, I want my boyfriend back!"
Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?
A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.