Short jokes
Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.
Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.
What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.
What do gay people get for Christmas?
Discrimination.
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
penis balls cum <3
Why is my dad gone?
I don't know.
What did the cancer doctor say?
You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
Have you ever been to the new Disney park called SawCon?
SawCon deez nutz!
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!
If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
This website is darker than the kid that got arrested last week.