Short jokes

Short jokes

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Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!

One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”

A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”

A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”

Why did the little girl cry twice?

Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.

What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?

They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.

I bought an anti-bullying wristband. I say I bought it; I stole it off a fat ginger kid.

What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?

"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."

Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.

Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?

There was once a Spanish magician. He said, "Uno, dos..." and he disappeared without a tres.

You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.