Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
It’s me back at it again.
The earth was flat till they buried yo mama!!!
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,
"Some asshole has my pen!"
Why can't LGBTQ+ members be straight? Because they are LGBTQ, they are losers.
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
How do pirates like their movies?
You already know the answer, don't you?
Well...
ARRR rated! Huh huh huh...
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.